"The moment of true initiation. It seems that, as the great masters teach us, it is not a moment of "great enlightenment." It is not someone who comes to "show us reality." It is not a "seeing all the world as a oneness." It is seeing the self as a liar and a feeder on others. It is measuring the self with TRUTH. It is seeing that the predator has been feeding on the self, that the self has been feeding on others and propagating the infection on to all those who one claims to love and wish to help. Initiation is not a glorious inpouring of life and love and tears for the beauty and oneness of the world. It is sheer terror. It is a descent into Hell. It is the Shamanic descent into the underworld to do battle with demons. It is the dismemberment of the body, the flaying of the flesh from the bones, and the subsequent rebuilding of the self on a different foundation - a foundation of spiritual verity. And if I could convey to you that Hell, that sensation, that solitary test in which the soul is weighed, BY THE SELF, finally and completely and seen for what it has truly done, you would see how little truth there is because of all the beliefs of the Matrix that have been inculcated and promulgate and tended so carefully by our emotions and by the deceptions of the predator within who convinces us that we are "good" and "pure" and there is "oneness." Indeed, one sees that there is "oneness," but one sees that the aspect of God that is experienced at this level is the black, sucking, feeding maw of STS (Service to Self). One sees how little true Love is actually manifested at this level of being. One sees that all of our illusions about "goodness" and truth and beauty are LIES. They are masks for more feeding. And that is so horrifying an initiation that few survive. That is "paying everything." Now, re-read what Gurdjieff had to say about the matter; how he pointed out that a person has to "pay in advance," that the key is to accept the idea that one is not what one thinks, that there is a different reality from which our own is projected, and that developing this idea in the realm of pure thought, and then using it as the platform by which one can observe and analyze, is the key to being able to see for a moment, and then again. One must be able to see the interactions of the Petty Tyrants in our lives, the Predators who prey on us in the Theological Reality. And then, one must be willing to act. It is only after action that the true nature of the Predator reveals itself just as the Vampire reacts with violence to being exposed by the presence of a mirror. Because, it must be kept always in mind that there ARE predators who are predators by choice - even if that choice is made at some level, in some part of themselves that is not available to even their own conscious awareness. They, too, are part of the Matrix, and they wouldn't be able to play their roles if they were not consciously convinced that they are right, that they are "good," that they are righteous and long-suffering." - Laura Knight-Jadczyk, The Wave 5&6
Living in Topanga under the trees with Coyotes and Bobcats passing by my patio and hawks sitting in the trees looking for squirrels to hunt (the squirrels usually win) has been essential for my well-being, especially as of late. I'd also add music to this list, at least for me it feeds my soul. Now for a swim in the ocean.
“Aliveness is energy. It’s the juice, the vitality, and the passion that wakes up our cells every morning. It’s what makes us want to dance. It’s the energy that moves a relationship from the status quo to something grander and much more expansive, something that makes our hearts beat faster, our minds and our eyes open wider, than ever before. Everything is of interest to a person who is truly alive, whether it’s a challenge, a loving moment, a bucket of grief, or a glimpse of beauty.” ~ Daphne Rose Kingma
Definitely can feel the effects of this transit and leading up to it.
“The healing energies of this grand trine are profound if we consciously work with them and healing none-the-less even if we don’t. We just have to watch out that we don’t get dragged under by powerful emotions where we project onto others our own deficiencies because we refuse to accept Saturn in Scorpio’s demand to look at our own darkness.”
“As we are cradled in the womb of the Mother, her love gives us the courage to look at the ways we deal with each other—all our relationships will have lessons for us now. With Saturn in Scorpio, we have to see our shadows and accept those dark, angry parts of ourselves before we can go on to be intimate with another… Saturn wants us to take responsibility for our fears about sharing ourselves, about seeing our truths and letting others see us as well. Like don Juan’s advice to Carlos Castaneda, perhaps we need to ‘take death as our adviser’ and stop being afraid to be ourselves. Let your past go; use what you’ve learned from the past to move forward with confidence.”
“…Neptune in Pisces can help us dream big dreams, opening our imaginations to Spirit’s messages. Aligned with Saturn, we have a chance to actually manifest some of our dreams. The planets moving through Cancer pick up these big change energies and incorporate them into our daily lives. As each one of them become part of the water trine, Neptune and Saturn will bring both a vision and a discipline to our lunar feeling life, our solar sense of Self, our Venusian love nature, our Mercurial mind, our Jupiterian inspiration and curiosity, and late this month, to our Martian desires.............."
“When in the water element a Grand Trine always stimulates our emotions and there can be a risk that we lose ourselves in them without a compass to find our way out, becoming sodden with feelings that clog our pores and prevent the healing from getting in. We need to guard against this now.”
“Healing waters are those that remain in motion and flow, not stagnant and dead. We need to move through emotion not wallow in it. And once we commit to doing so there are all manner of forces within this vast universe of ours that are poised to come to our aid at this time.”
“The more we can welcome them the better, because come the end of this month this Grand Trine joins with another in the earth element, forming a rare Grand Sextile, providing us with an opportunity to put what we receive this week into practice in our everyday lives, transforming them forever if we let it.”
“..So whilst we are invited to allow them in now, we are also invited to let them out, to radiate them all around from the heart of our very being, to be the healing force in the universe for others even as we receive it for ourselves.”
“This is a powerful and moving time. Are you feeling it? I know many are, and the tears that have been shed in recent weeks could fill the oceans many times over. But every tear carries within it healing and every broken heart is only waiting to be whole once again.”
“The ability to hold Light is directly proportional to the courage to see darkness. Choosing to see just one creates distortions and illusions. It amazes me that something so simple and common sense can be so difficult to even discuss with ‘spiritual’ people who insist on remaining ‘positive’. Actually, this avoidance is based on unacknowledged fear that their inner light might be somewhat ‘dispersed’ by seeing darkness and therefore not giving the light much credit at all. I think there’s also fear that they might somehow become ‘tainted’ or the darkness might ‘manifest’ in some form in their lives. But the opposite is true; it is the fear, especially unacknowledged, that has much more chance to manifest than darkness exposed to daylight and investigation. Just like we must be fearless about our own inner shadow, we must also be fearless about seeing this huge shadow of humanity. Or we will have the power to transform precisely nothing, within or without.”
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